Gather Round the Stone

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here, today, in this email, to celebrate a momentous
occasion. What that occasion may be, I have yet to discern, other
than to congratulate myself on not spending another four months
without writing you all. I hope this correspondence finds you all
healthy, happy, and with a sense of twitterpation in the on-coming
Spring (well, for most of you).

As for events that have happened in my life over the past months, you
can read the break down of the stories.

For the Love of Basketball
I've been coaching girls at the high school in basketball for the past
year. There are several things wrong with me being a high school
basketball coach here. First, I've pretty much hated playing the game
since I quit the team almost 10 years ago. Secondly, I take sports
very--very seriously. Thirdly, I like to win. What this adds up to
is that in a place where everything is compromised by what one wants
to do in the moment rather than a long term dedication, and the basics
of working with teenage girls, I become very angry.

It turns out that I have no idea how to coach girls, especially here,
because I go too easy and they do whatever they want and no one shows
up, or I get tough and they get scared and no one shows up. So for
the past month before our first real game, no one has showed up.
Finally, the city sports authority gets its act together and on
Wednesday they tell me that we have a game on Saturday which leaves 2
days for practice. No one showed up.

We went to the game and half the girls didn't even know the rules. My
assistant coach who was supposed to translate my directions decided
that she knew more about basketball than I did and would tell them
something completely different. We lost---horribly. I was angry
enough not to say a word to any of them.

And then the boys played. The boys have been pretty much coaching
themselves because I told them that I had to help the girls. The boys
put themselves together in a team, worked out how to substitute
themselves, and led themselves to an awesome victory.

So all of this brought to my mind what everyone says here: girls are
just silly. Which makes me more mad. So I spent a few days thinking
about it and decided that I had to be mad at the girls or else I would
agree with what everyone else chooses to believe implicitly.
Thankfully, I have a very thoughtful student who is able to explain
the complexities of Ethiopian social dynamics and teaches me not to
give up hope. Then that very same student bombed her oral
presentation in my class. Grrrr

And the Fight
After the girls got bumped out of the citywide tournament, I started
to help the boys at their games. Their championship game for the
sub-city was a very tough loss going into double overtime and losing
by 2 points. There were many other students who came to the game to
support them, and as always in these kinds of games, emotions run very
high. So while I was at the scoring table clearing up the end-of-game
paperwork, I see one of my male students shouting his head off in a
rage at a student from another school. Mind you, he's not a player.
Then I see him pick up a random 2 by 4 that happens to be laying
around. Then I step in. I yell at him to put down the wood. He
does. Still angry. He picks up a large rock. This time I grab his
hand. He yells "get off." I pull his around so its crossed over his
neck and I'm now at his back. He, standing several centimeters taller
than me, leans over so my feet are off the ground. Some how I get
them back on the ground and the coach from the other team shouts to me
"Miss, let me handle it." I burst back "He's my student." I put the
kid in a headlock and drag him out of the school compound. After 10
minutes of cooling off, my student comes back to me and apologizes.

Fortunately or unfortunately, there were several other students who
were witnesses to this. As if I didn't have a reputation in the
school before, now its certainly gone around that I know how to fight.
I think the rumours that I'm ex-military or CIA have sprung back up.

It Ain't Easy Being Vegan
For almost two months now, I have adhered to the Ethiopian Orthodox
Lenten fast. Now, those of you educated in the practices of Lent may
question: 2 months? Yes, for some reason the Orthodox church has
decided that a measly 40 days is not good enough to satisfy the Lord
and his stint in the desert, and so they command that all good
Christians must pay penance since some time in early February. This
fasting is no weak Western-ideology fasting in which we only give up
meat on Fridays and think about some other vice or indulgence that we
take on too much at other times of the year. No, no. Here, this is
God's country and here we do God's fasting. As the rules go:
1) No eating before 3 PM. (the hour Jesus died) Monday- Friday
2) No drinking before 3 PM. Monday- Friday
3) Saturday and Sunday no eating or drinking before 10 am. (Don't know why)
4) No alcohol.
5) No cursing.
6) No sex ( I don't think there are so many children born between the
months of November and January and yet the population growth is still
soaring)
7) And absolutely no eating of products of animals.

The last one seems to be the hard one for me. As it goes, we get
pretty much a monthly donation of cheese. Like nice cheese. Good
cheddar, Havarti, Smoked Gouda, and various others, so our fridge
pretty much looks like a cheese box. We don't eat meat very often,
but we do have several volunteers who like to bake as well as make
nice creamy soups and other items delicious in nature.

Now I've fought my way through all of this, but currently there is a
sugar shortage. As in, I cant find any d*** sugar. Anywhere. Even
off-market stuff is really hard to find. I spent 2 freakin hours last
week to get 2 kilos. So, at the end of the day, when I'm exhausted, I
can barely keep my eyes open and I still have to grade papers, I can't
even put honey in my tea or coffee. And so it is bitter. And so am
I.

But these are frustrations I'm letting out in an email so you get the
picture. I've tried to give up complaining as well and not talk about
the fasting too much because that's not the point and I realise its my
own choice. But to give you a further idea, I now understand why no
one does anything here. It is really hard to move, to think, or to
feel proper in any sense when you don't eat for most of the day, for
weeks on end. And these are just the standard rules. For the "real
Christians" they eat almost nothing. And so they do almost nothing.
I would not include this fast in any country that wants to be
productive in any way. Good thing that's not a concern here.

Madame Van
And for the final story, I get to tell of a little indiscretion on the
part of some of my favorite female students. The other volunteers
joke that I have a "Van Club." There are some number of students who
hang around a lot, have come to the house, and I've taken out to
places around the city. The majority are girls. I am very proud that
these girls are the more assertive, self-confident, and determined
girls in the school. What this also means is they stand out a bit
more. And perhaps to some in authority, have a bit too much
confidence, especially when it comes to the male students.

Last week I was called down to talk with the coordinator of the
school. He had a list of students in front of him. A list of couples
to be exact, that were supposedly dating. Mind you, dating is
strictly not allowed in the school. Very strictly. Of the six
couples listed, 5 of the girls he knew were particularly close to me.
And so, I was told to "straighten them out." This list came about
because a teacher supposedly caught one of the girls and a boy kissing
in the hallway. *Shocking*

So I went on my fact finding mission. One by one, I pulled the girls
aside to talk to them about their alleged relationship. Of course, I
had already talked to a few of them before. Being American, I don't
care about dating in high school. I just care that they don't get in
trouble shortly before the Grade 12 National Exams. The conversation
ended up going something like this:
Me: So, you're on a list.
Student: What list?
Me: The bad list.
Student: I didn't do it.
Me: What didn't you do?
Student: Whatever that list says I did.
Me: Are you dating?
Student: *laughs* No.
Me: Are you sure?
Student: Why would I not be sure?
Me: Are you interested in dating?
Student: No.
Me: What about kissing?
Student: Van, stop it.
Me: So you havent been kissing, touching, talking, or doing anything
else inappropriately with a boy?
Student: That's a bad list.

So this was probably the most PG relationship conversation I'll ever
have with an 18 year old. They all said they just are friends, find
better friends in the guys, or sit next to a guy in class and for some
reason have been found guilty. No relationships. Even the girl
supposedly kissing said the guy leaned down to kiss her on the cheek
(acceptable greeting) and because he is very tall and she is very
short it could have looked otherwise. The guy said this as well and
got very upset at the accusation.

My talk with these girls ended up being enlightening in another way.
I might have expressed this before, but there are no female teachers
at the high school. In fact, for the older students who have been at
Don Bosco their entire school career, they have never had a female
teacher, save one foreigner who showed up last year. Apparently, the
all male administration doesn't find a problem with this, but it comes
to light that there is a problem when a situation like this occurs,
and the female students have been overtly blamed for inappropriate
relationships and the male students are just pawns to their games. I'm
still very proud of these girls, maybe even moreso now.

Conclusion
I hope in some way this has been entertaining and not just clutter in
your inbox. As my dad says, "I'm short," which means I'm on a
countable number of days now in Ethiopia. I'll try to press out a few
more emails in that time to round of the experience for you as well as
myself.

Best,
Virginia/Van/Va